Sabrina Reyes-Peters

Dear Self: Shut Up and Listen

I had this long, self-deprecating diatribe written out, and decided to scrap it, because it was a bonafide s____y first draft, a la Anne Lamott. I went on and on about how astounding and outrageous it was (is!) that there are so many Christians out there defending the narrative given by abusers, rushing to “give grace” to them, and how I wanted nothing to do with those kinds of people. I ended with a small statement about letting victims have the platform and focus, which is exactly what I did NOT demonstrate in that first draft, OR in my conversations. This should NOT be about me.

Truth: I still want little to do with self-proclaiming Christians who defend abusers, and ignore the structures whence they came. (You can learn more about one of them at, if you can tolerate a poorly designed website. Cross-refence with this guide.)

Truth: I feel more like spewing curses these days than I ever have, due to feelings of anger at injustice. (See this example.)

However, I do want to be more proactive in stepping out of the way, instead of publishing a story centered around myself. I don’t want to further a toxic, unsafe environment for survivors by clinging to the microphone. I want to learn to listen. As such, I am shutting up about it now, and tomorrow will be publishing a piece written by a survivor.